I am WAY too easily entertained

[asimplechord]

Cleaning out my spam-mailbox. The subject lines crack me up.

The vast majority are for Viagra substitutes. Does my username put me into a demographic that suggests I need them?

Make her scream your name with MegaDIK.

We have chicks lined up for you.

Harder... harder... my cock is 5x harder...

Dick help 911. Get a visit from the big dick fairy. This one makes me think of someone like the tooth fairy or Tinkerbell flying around with a magic wand. Heh.

And I particularly like

You can make your love tool bigger.

Love tool. That's awesome. It needs to be written into some crackfic, I think.

ETA: Here, have another laugh. I burned a bunch of music from home onto CDs and loaded 'em onto my PC at work. Today I was listening to Jason Manns on shuffle, and I forgot that the mixed CD that held his songs also had some Jason Mraz, some VAST, and How do you fuck a boy without a pussy on it. Until the last came up on the Real Player menu while the Chief was stopped at my bench asking about experiments.

*palm/forehead*

Not exactly work-appropriate music.

Comments

[fleurdeliser.livejournal.com]

Heh. I get those all the time, too. It's like, what about my email address says "male" to you? *shakes head*

[asimplechord.livejournal.com]

I mean, we could still buy it for our SOs, I suppose. But how exactly do you introduce that into conversation without causing all sorts of ego problems?

"Honey, there's something I want you to do for me..."

[mimiheart.livejournal.com]

May I interest you in http://www.spamusement.com ?

There's also a spam subject line museum somewhere, but I don't have the address on this computer, and I'm too lazy to look it up.

[asimplechord.livejournal.com]

Those are awesome! Thanks for the link. :)

[angela-snape.livejournal.com]

those are hilarious! definitely, 'love tool' needs to be in a fic. Hmm.... Snape/Kingsley/Love Tool? *snort*

[asimplechord.livejournal.com]

Can you imagine Snape's reaction to hearing the phrase "love tool"? That eyebrow? And his scathing wit? *laughs*

[angela-snape.livejournal.com]

It would be very entertaining...

* * *

"Severus, come to bed, my love tool burns for you."

With an arched eyebrow, Severus turned to Kingsley. "I think I have a potion for that. I shall return."

* * *

Yeah, that's why I'm mainly a reader, and not a writer...

[scotrid.livejournal.com]

I'm starting to think they ONLY send those to women (well, they would be more likely to notice the need), since my mom gets them and I don't. But I can't believe the ad I hear on the radio all the time: "Male enhancement in 3 to 5 seconds? Is it possible?" And I'm thinking, "Is it desirable?? It sounds like it would have to hurt."

[asimplechord.livejournal.com]

3 to 5 seconds? That does not sound pleasant.

Then again, I always wonder about the ads with the disclaimer that if erections last longer than 3 to 5 hours after taking the enhancement, you should see a doctor. Um, 3 to 5 hours?