that awkward moment...
Apr. 2nd, 2013 05:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
asimplechordI've been waiting for my credit card company to call me all day. In the last two days, I bought A's birthday gift, most of the groceries and decorations for his birthday party, and four tickets for Fall Out Boy's fall arena tour, on top of the Soundgarden tickets and Buzzfest tickets already purchased. Even if the bank doesn't call to check on the activity, I think my wallet is whimpering in pain.
While I'm thinking about the birthday part... what do people do when couples get divorced and other couples are still friends with both parties?
See, couples A+B and C+D were friends with E. E introduced F into our circle of friends. They got married, and shortly thereafter E took a job that mean E would be out of town Monday-Friday, so we only saw E on rare occasions and weekends, because E liked to use weekends home for intense yoga and purging. F integrated into the group so that A+B socialized almost exclusively with F; C+D, who were closer to E originally and didn't know F as well, moved to another city. Fast forward two years: C+D moved back to HTX, E+F are divorcing. Out of loyalty to E, C+D refuse to invite F to any social gathering they host, and prefer not to attend any function to which F has been invited but E has not.
I'm closer to F, because I joined the group at about the same time. But I don't have anything against E. (Well, I sorta think E can be a jackass with foot-in-mouth disease, but that doesn't bother me enough to not invite E to social events, since E's in the group of friends.)
I'm not choosing sides. I don't know why they're splitting up. I don't want to know. That's their business.
We've hosted parties since they separated, and usually if F sees that E has RSVP'd, F declines to attend.
When I sent out invitations to A's birthday party, F got one because F's in my default email-for-events mailing list. (For most of their marriage, when I was sending invitations, I sent them to F and F RSVP'd for both - it's a bad habit, and I forgot, OK?) But I felt horrible when we were at an Easter brunch and we had to talk around the party in front of E because E's not invited.
What do people DO when their friends get divorced? Pick sides? Try to stay friends with both?
I guess I'm lucky that this is the first time it's really happened in my close social circle.
While I'm thinking about the birthday part... what do people do when couples get divorced and other couples are still friends with both parties?
See, couples A+B and C+D were friends with E. E introduced F into our circle of friends. They got married, and shortly thereafter E took a job that mean E would be out of town Monday-Friday, so we only saw E on rare occasions and weekends, because E liked to use weekends home for intense yoga and purging. F integrated into the group so that A+B socialized almost exclusively with F; C+D, who were closer to E originally and didn't know F as well, moved to another city. Fast forward two years: C+D moved back to HTX, E+F are divorcing. Out of loyalty to E, C+D refuse to invite F to any social gathering they host, and prefer not to attend any function to which F has been invited but E has not.
I'm closer to F, because I joined the group at about the same time. But I don't have anything against E. (Well, I sorta think E can be a jackass with foot-in-mouth disease, but that doesn't bother me enough to not invite E to social events, since E's in the group of friends.)
I'm not choosing sides. I don't know why they're splitting up. I don't want to know. That's their business.
We've hosted parties since they separated, and usually if F sees that E has RSVP'd, F declines to attend.
When I sent out invitations to A's birthday party, F got one because F's in my default email-for-events mailing list. (For most of their marriage, when I was sending invitations, I sent them to F and F RSVP'd for both - it's a bad habit, and I forgot, OK?) But I felt horrible when we were at an Easter brunch and we had to talk around the party in front of E because E's not invited.
What do people DO when their friends get divorced? Pick sides? Try to stay friends with both?
I guess I'm lucky that this is the first time it's really happened in my close social circle.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-03 12:36 pm (UTC)That was the main reason I wanted my divorce to be as quick and clean as possible--I didn't want to divide the boys up by making them feel like they had to choose a side.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-04 02:11 am (UTC)But, yeah, if not for one couple definitely choosing sides I'd probably drift away from one and hang out with the other. The weird thing is that I don't feel like it's the couple themselves forcing it, it's one set of friends with very strong feelings about it.