relax, relapse

[asimplechord]

I think I'm missing something. Please to be 'splaining?

J sent me a link to this article this morning with the comment that the author clearly didn't know about slash fanfiction (or websites like Gay Porn for Girls, was my unvoiced thought).

Anyway.

On my lunchbreak I went ahead and read the entire article, and I sorta think I missed something.

Lawson says

I know no women, although they may exist, who find the notion of male homosexual activity erotically exciting.

But then a few paragraphs later on, she says

One thing is true: men's sexual fantasy involves straight women having lesbian sex, which is rather different from imagining them as lesbian. And the truth is that straight women have the same fantasy

Isn't that a contradiction of the first statement? Or am I missing something? Is it that getting turned on by imagining two men having sex not the same as imagining that they are really gay, or at least not completely straight? Because, I don't know, when I watch gay porn or read slash fic, I'm not thinking, "Yeah, they're having sex, but they're not gay, they just love each other or are waiting for the right woman (me) to come along." Generally, my thought processes are more, "Holy hell, that's hot. Losing... brain... function..."

*is confused*

Dude, just as an aside, this whole binary sexuality as a defining personality characteristic irritates me. You might not realize it if you only know me via fandom, but sex, the writing, thinking or having of, doesn't occupy my entire brain or life.

Comments

[luminous-mortal.livejournal.com]

Well, this was quite interesting and thought provoking. You really poked your finger into a hornets nest... *g*

I found it to be contradictory as well, but couldn't put my finger on whether she meant that we (women) are turned by the notion of "straight" men having "gay" sex, rather than strictly gay men having "gay" sex.

I do agree that sexuality these days is more fluid (I like the term "designer-dykery"), but I'm still not sure exactly why those of us who are straight females really enjoy the world of male slash.

Speaking for myself, I've been married for a long time to a card-carrying hetero male who has absolutely no interest in having sex with men. I'm definitely a hetero female and I have no interest in women at all.

We each know that the other finds it erotic to watch the opposite sex, and since he only likes girl bits and I only like boy bits, there will, sadly, be no three-somes in our house!

I had no idea there was a safe place to explore all this until I happened upon this website, so I've come into the game of slashy fun rather late.

I'm very interested in your opinion as to why you think women find male/male fiction so arousing. Especially when some of it depicts so much violence and pain. For me, the sheer physicality of men, the muscularity of their bodies, and their natural sexual aggression makes slash really erotic for me.

I do, however, draw the line at some of the intense blood play and D/s I've read. I know, whatever floats your boat...but, some of it?...just plain ew...

[asimplechord.livejournal.com]

Prepare to hear more rambling than you really wanted!

I'm sure there are a variety of reasons for female interest in m/m fiction. For me, there are multiple levels.

First, the shallow. I like boy parts. If one cock is good, two is better. And most of the fanfiction I read or write is about characters that I already find attractive, either physically, intellectually, or emotionally, so the sexual just adds to that. I like the male physique. I think you put your finger on it when you point out the sexual aggression as a turn-on also.

Second, many (although not all, I will admit) of the media fandoms and even book-based fandoms don't contain strong female characters, or if they do, they are not female characters I care to explore in the negative capability way that fanfiction allows. This leaves us with gen-only fic or with slash, even if the slash is subtextual. And seriously, if you look at some tv shows, movies, or books, you can probably find some sort of subtext.

Then there's always the subconscious stuff. When I'm watching or reading porn with two men, there's no I wonder if I could do that, would he like it if I did that, she's got bigger tits and a tighter ass sort of mental commentary and comparison. It's safe from insecurities.

I have been in fandom for, oh, six years, maybe? I started in the Potter world, and have drifted into other fandoms, and when I first found slash I was more willing to read anything, no matter what the topic/content/kink, because it was so novel and different. But as time has gone on, I've sort of found my squicks and kinks and am less likely to read some things that initially I might have given a try just because it was slash. I don't like non-con, I don't like poorly characterized/researched D/s, I don't like true violence, and sometimes I hit the back button. But all in all, I'm happier with slash fanfiction than the proper "romance" or erotic novels I've read.

[graphix-fret.livejournal.com]

She means that straight women, like straight men, fantasize about two women together.

Poor thing doesn't get out much if she doesn't know any women who like the guy on guy thing. (she needs to hang out at my place when we watch Torchwood!)

Sadly, I sort of agree with her about the poster. While my first thought when I saw it was, "cool, two chicks", it is horribly "artsy". (Though, that may just be my over-35, less-than-model-perfect self reacting to the underlying message that only skinny, twenty-somethings are sexy.)

[asimplechord.livejournal.com]

I agree w/ you about the poster. It might look revolutionary on the surface, but once you think about it for a minute, its underpinnings are not quite so cool.

Clearly, I do not fall into her definition of straight then. :)

[angela-snape.livejournal.com]

Seems like a contradiction to me.