Sweetness. :) Draco's so lovely here and I like how Harry, even though he's an adult now and having an adult life, seeems like he's never really got around to growing up properly. :)
Just a couple of little things... In the last para of the first section, there's an extra "the" in the last sentence. And in the second para of Draco's bit, the Y of "jealousy" has fallen off. I thought there was a "the" without its T somewhere, too, but I bet you've fixed it already. :)
The past bits weren't confusing at all, btw. Well done. :) The only thing that that made me have to read over again was Harry wasn’t completely unaware of his own appeal to men and women alike... Harry's thinking about the fact that he's attracted to men and women alike, yeah? But that sounds like he's noticed that both male and female potential suitors are attracted to him. Just ignore me if I'm on crack. :D
I wanna know about Harry's stockings! Er, I wanna hear about Harry's christmas. :D
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-01-21 02:17 am (UTC)Sweetness. :) Draco's so lovely here and I like how Harry, even though he's an adult now and having an adult life, seeems like he's never really got around to growing up properly. :)
Just a couple of little things... In the last para of the first section, there's an extra "the" in the last sentence. And in the second para of Draco's bit, the Y of "jealousy" has fallen off. I thought there was a "the" without its T somewhere, too, but I bet you've fixed it already. :)
The past bits weren't confusing at all, btw. Well done. :) The only thing that that made me have to read over again was Harry wasn’t completely unaware of his own appeal to men and women alike... Harry's thinking about the fact that he's attracted to men and women alike, yeah? But that sounds like he's noticed that both male and female potential suitors are attracted to him. Just ignore me if I'm on crack. :D
I wanna know about Harry's stockings! Er, I wanna hear about Harry's christmas. :D